Pondering Forever

In 1993 I received information about a Teacher's Seminar held at Westtown School outside of Philadelphia. It looked great, actually better than great; but it said attendance was by invitation only. With some combination of trepidation and courage I picked up the phone and called the seminar leader, David Mallery. I asked him how someone could get invited. He didn't know me from Adam's cat, but he said who do you want to invite? Sheepishly I replied, "myself." He signed me up immediately.

At Westtown, I learned that David was so much more than a seminar leader. He was a friend, a colleague, a mentor, I don't think it's too far to go to say he could be your hero. By the time the week ended he had connections with me that he had made over the previous 20 years through Guilford College and Friends Council and other places AND he had that with every one who particpated in this experience.

Over the years since 1993 I had the opportunity to go to 2 more of his seminars and to send a number of NGFS staff to various of his seminars. Each person always came back energized, excited, invigorated to teach, to teach better and to teach to each and every student they had. I was also lucky enough to stay in touch with David through my work at Friends Council. About once every year or two we would get together for breakfast in Philadelphia. David always called it our summit meeting. We would talk about NGFS, about Quaker education, about life and I always came away knowing education is truly the most noble and fulfilling profession.

Last week Carrie (who also went to a Westtown Seminar, just a couple of years ago) got word that David was very ill and likely not to live through the week. On Saturday a friend of mine, who I met at the Westtown seminar, called to let me know that David had passed away. My last summit with David came last April at a bakery in Germantown with Carrie there also. I certainly didn't know it would be the last, in fact I was planning to try to schedule another summit this April. We had a wonderful time, and hugged David when we left. Carrie and I were so happy to have gotten to spend a morning with David and have our reservoirs filled, even overfilled. We talked for a long time driving home about the difference David had made in our lives and in the lives of EVERYONE we knew that had ever met him.

Tracy Chapman has a lyric that reads, "I've seen and met angels wearing the disguises of ordinary people living ordinary lives." I don't know that anyone would describe David as ordinary, but he certainly was an angel in the lives of thousands and thousands of educators over his life. I have been left this week smultaneously feeling incredibly empty and incredibly joyful for having known David. I feel for his family during this time, but also know they have an extended family too large to count. And I've thought a lot about forever, if anyone can "live" forever, it is David. He touched so many in his life, who continue to give his gifts of grace, compassion and joy for life. I know how much I loved and love David, and I know so many colleagues who feel the same way. I know your life will continue through each one of us and we will each do our part to keep what you gave us alive.

David liked to ask his seminar participants to close their eyes and create a variety of images, maybe your favorite teacher, and then yourself as an adult encountering that teacher and painting what you would say and do given this chance. So, as a small part of paying forward what David gave to me, I ask you "paint a picture of someone who made a difference in your life, see them as you remember them and for all they did for you." Then if the opportunity presents itself, or maybe make the opportunity. Tell them. After all what better gift than to let someone know they made a difference in your life. I'm so glad I got to tell David that time and time again.